"The first time I met Tom I was a sophomore in high school. I was standing behind him in line to use the pay phone. I was calling Mom for a ride home. Tom had other reasons for using the phone. Eavesdropping on his conversation, I realized he was prankcalling a dental service. I glanced around, looking for his gaggle of giggling friends, his audience. But there was no one, Tom wasn’t entertaining anyone but himself. He had waited in line and paid his money just to make himself laugh. I knew then that this was someone I needed to hang with. He had a Tony Hawk long-bangs, skater-punk haircut; a huge, ugly, olive green car; and no luck with the ladies. He was the only constant member of his first band, Big Oily Men, loved to draw phallic shapes (that’s a nice way of putting it) on all of his classmates’ papers as they were passed to the front of the room, and was above all an unceasingly loyal friend."
— Anne Hoppus -Tales From Beneath Your Mom
*pours one out for the blinkumentary*